Wednesday, 17 December 2014

A diffident girl and her messed up thoughts..

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

"...for she is locked up in a cocoon of her own making."  
After reading the sentence above, there's a lot going on through my mind. So, I spontaneously wrote this so-called poem on a piece of paper while waiting for someone. And then I transfer it to my blog (mind any errors though).


What is it about freedom that makes her so blue?
She can fly high up in the sky,
yetfelt like her neck is being tied up to a chain
until she can barely breathe.
She can say whatever her mouth ought to speak,
but then she heard the swarm of bees mocking behind her back 
with their devilish looks that's pretty enough to deceive her.
Even what she ate, what she wore, what she did,
affected a whole lot of hypocritical society.

But the saddest thing is
she has no one to blame other than her own inferior self.
For she let the mud of judgement
covered her eyes, heart and every inch of her body
till she can no longer see the beauty and goodness in herself.
And worse,
she drowns herself in the sea of ugly thoughts 
created by her own grey and white matter.
She's choked up,
and her self-esteem destroyed in a speed of light.

At that moment,
she starts to send people away,
and she hides in a deserted place.
But maybe, just maybe
she actually wanted to be found
by the people who care enough
to tear down the walls that surrounded her cold heart.
And that's when she realized
she's an epitome of irony.

She doesn't want to reveal her true self,
so she camouflages herself,
 behind the curtains of misery
wearing the mask of euphoria.
Solely because she's afraid 
that once she let herself free,
others might see the dark and the beastly side of her
that didn't belong.

But what she doesn't know is
all of those things, are only a mirage of illusions
conceived by the demon of cruel world.
She thoughts she is struggling
but she's only delusional.

And others who sat on the watcher's bench
could see that
behind her soot of flaws,
there is a fine woman who once thought
that this world is pure and intact.

With a little bit of hope 
that she slipped into the pocket of her jeans,
her eyes twitch with a spark of anticipation
whenever someone opens the gate
that leads to the land of Utopia,
but only to make her disappointment piles up 
from being let down, countless times.

After years of trials and tribulations,
she finally realized how wrong she was.
Just after she put the Dunya in her hand
and the Almighty in her heart,
the world suddenly became mute.
Now she knew that this world
is nothing but a stopover, to please Him 
before reaching the real destination
which is the Hereafter.

She retired from being the soul that wanders
and her last and ultimate wishes are,
to stay, not stray
to keep the faith and not get distracted,
to stay strong and always sabr,
to constantly be on the right track,
for the rest of her life
in this temporary globe of existence.

© amerahramli_2014.

P/s: It is not related to anyone or anything.

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