Lately..

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

This is another random entry. Since I don't always have time to sit and read a whole book, I love to go through short poems and quotes. It gives me the same pleasure and comfort which I really like. But lately, besides reading, I found amusement through writing too. Reading for pleasure is like a sweet escape from this world that allows me to experience new things through the characters. But writing is an art of expression. It allows you to speak in silence and it's not necessarily has to be your own voice, but can be from the others' pov too. It is actually fascinating! (or am i the only one who thought so -_-")

I would love to write poems! But the thing is, I'm not really good with words. I'm bad at choosing the right words to express myself, not to mention my limited vocabulary. So, it would be lovely if I could meet someone who understands me without having to say much. HA HA!! 

Soooo, I wrote this, ugh, I don't know whether it's a poem or just sentences jumbled together. But whatever! Call me weird, but I found a sense of satisfaction writing it. Bear in mind that it's not always about me. The idea just came up and I write it here. I use English because it's more comfortable ('I love you' sounds less cheesy than 'saya cinta awak', don't you think so?) haha!

YOU & I

You and I

are like two different creatures.

You're from Mars, while I'm from Venus.

We never really know each other

but somehow, it feels like you're part of me. 

I know that we're different

Yes, I do.

But a key and lock perfected each other, right?

For all we know,

no one creates a lock without a key.

And you just have to find the right one.

.

.

.

WHAT ARE YOU?

Years went by,

but the agreement 

between the sun and the moon

never wavers.

As the sun hides itself,

the sky turns black,

and the moonlight appears.

It has always been like that.

Then, the clock hits 12 a.m.

but Cinderella didn't leave the ball.

It's me,

lying on my bed,

with my brain working at its highest peak.

At that moment, I wonder

"What are you?"

During the day, 

you put me in such agony.

But at night,

you are my ultimate bliss.

You gave me roses,

to beautify me,

making me beamed.

But you didn't cut the thorns

and it made my fingers bleed.

So I ask again,

"What are you?"

Are you my Yin, or my Yang?

Just as I'm about to close the door, 

you came to me running frantically,

knocking on the door like a mad man.

So I open it a little more,

enough for you to get inside.

To my horror,

there you stand numbly,

not moving an inch.

It's like you throw me high up in the sky,

but letting me fall down with no one to catch.

And I'm deteriorating,

but that's another story.

At that instant,

the table turns.

Realizing that I'm much more than an option,

I no longer search for you.

I found my true love, it's Him;

who loves me unconditionally.

Life minus you,

nothing changed.

But without Him,

I am nothing.

So if you were to ask me,

"What am I?"

My answer will be

...you are ambiguous.

© amerahramli_2014.

P/s: you might be thinking, "What kind of nonsense is this??" hahahahaha i'm so bad at this (T_T)

*cries a river*

A diffident girl and her messed up thoughts..

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

"...for she is locked up in a cocoon of her own making."  

After reading the sentence above, there's a lot going on through my mind. So, I spontaneously wrote this so-called poem on a piece of paper while waiting for someone. And then I transfer it to my blog (mind any errors though).

F.R.E.E.D.O.M

What is it about freedom that makes her so blue?

She can fly high up in the sky,

yet, felt like her neck is being tied up to a chain

until she can barely breathe.

She can say whatever her mouth ought to speak,

but then she heard the swarm of bees mocking behind her back 

with their devilish looks that's pretty enough to deceive her.

Even what she ate, what she wore, what she did,

affected a whole lot of hypocritical society.

But the saddest thing is

she has no one to blame other than her own inferior self.

For she let the mud of judgement

covered her eyes, heart and every inch of her body

till she can no longer see the beauty and goodness in herself.

And worse,

she drowns herself in the sea of ugly thoughts 

created by her own grey and white matter.

She's choked up,

and her self-esteem destroyed in a speed of light.

At that moment,

she starts to send people away,

and she hides in a deserted place.

But maybe, just maybe

she actually wanted to be found

by the people who care enough

to tear down the walls that surrounded her cold heart.

And that's when she realized

she's an epitome of irony.

She doesn't want to reveal her true self,

so she camouflages herself,

 behind the curtains of misery

wearing the mask of euphoria.

Solely because she's afraid 

that once she let herself free,

others might see the dark and the beastly side of her

that didn't belong.

But what she doesn't know is

all of those things, are only a mirage of illusions

conceived by the demon of cruel world.

She thoughts she is struggling

but she's only delusional.

And others who sat on the watcher's bench

could see that

behind her soot of flaws,

there is a fine woman who once thought

that this world is pure and intact.

With a little bit of hope 

that she slipped into the pocket of her jeans,

her eyes twitch with a spark of anticipation

whenever someone opens the gate

that leads to the land of Utopia,

but only to make her disappointment piles up 

from being let down, countless times.

After years of trials and tribulations,

she finally realized how wrong she was.

Just after she put the Dunya in her hand

and the Almighty in her heart,

the world suddenly became mute.

Now she knew that this world

is nothing but a stopover, to please Him 

before reaching the real destination

which is the Hereafter.

She retired from being the soul that wanders

and her last and ultimate wishes are,

to stay, not stray

to keep the faith and not get distracted,

to stay strong and always sabr,

to constantly be on the right track,

for the rest of her life

in this temporary globe of existence.

© amerahramli_2014.

P/s: It is not related to anyone or anything.

Fact About Gifts That We Must Know..

Assalamualaikum W.B.T..

What is a gift? A gift is something that did not come from us. It is given and can be taken back by the original owner. The gift does not only come in material form but it includes our parents, our children, spouses, friends, money, beauty, intelligence and ect. 

But the thing is, where do we hold a gift? One of the facts about gift that we must know is a gift is not supposed to be held in the heart, but we held it in our hand. Why??

So that, when the gift is taken back by its owner, the loss will create pain to the hand, but not to the heart. And anyone who has lived long enough in this world knows that the pain of the hand is nothing like the pain of the heart.

If we hold the gift in our hand and it's taken back, we will feel normal human pain of loss. We will grieve, we will cry, but our heart remains whole and beating. That is because the heart is only for the Almighty, Allah S.W.T.

So, hold your gifts in the right place. :)

P/s: Taken from Yasmin Mogahed's book, Reclaim Your Heart. I've just read a few pages, but already falling in love with her words. (Highly recommended for those who haven't read it).